Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
