how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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