Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Randomize
