Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
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