Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
false alarm. still invincible.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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