Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
