She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
