if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
