he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We had to coat check the pizza.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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