Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
