turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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