The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
So many bounce houses so little time
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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