He is an equal opportunity slut.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Randomize
