Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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