my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
