dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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