Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
