Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize
