i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
