would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
