I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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