Rock
Scissors
Fuck
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
