Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
