using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm too high and old for this...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
