high people should be assigned attendants
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Randomize