i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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