I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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