chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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