He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
