summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize