i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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