I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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