Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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