if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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