his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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