Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
