drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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