How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
