you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
