Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Randomize
