Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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