Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I wish i was in the wii world.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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