We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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