grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
