get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
