it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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