she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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