i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize