It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
