just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
tell your sister to shave her snatch
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
