i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
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