paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
