I need help removing her.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
