I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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