This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize