the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
