lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
