Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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