Is it because I queefed?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
do nipples grow back?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
