My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Randomize
