i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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