Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(651): View more from Minnesota

After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive

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(916): View more from California

I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn

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(513): View more from Ohio

there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"

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(703): View more from Virginia

we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.

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(303): View more from Colorado

i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed

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(804): View more from Virginia

just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.

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(907): View more from Alaska

The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

It was so small.

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.

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