Jerry, you need to find god
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
