I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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