That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
