I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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